


of blood and sacrifices

by mooniewill



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), SEVENTEEN - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooniewill/pseuds/mooniewill
Summary: “there was no joy in his expression, just a heavy bundle of pain and anger, as if he finally lost hope that they would see him as the good guy, too blinded by their fake beliefs to think out of the golden cage they were trapped in.”
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Kudos: 8





	of blood and sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> 🍓 hi! ^^   
> this is the first time i post on ao3, so i’m a little nervous, plus english is not my first language so bear with me please, i hope you’ll enjoy this. i wrote it while listening to take me to church by hozier, saint bernard by lincoln and rät by penelope scott. again, i hope you’ll enjoy this as much as i did while writing it <3

jeonghan’s hands were trembling, everything around them seemed to rotate and fall, just like the tears from his face, salty reminders of the sins he committed, sparkling just like the stars that he used to see in the other’s eyes.  
« listen to me shua- » he pleaded so pathetically that not even he could bear the sound of his own voice.   
« no matter what they said to you alright? that’s all fucking bullshit, we’re not sick or twisted for god’s sake, if the heavens ever were to speak, they surely wouldn’t tell us that loving is a sin. »  
« we were born sick my dear... » the other kept his stare fixed on the marble statue in front of them, his hands were dripping blood from holding- gripping the golden cross at the edge of the table like his life depended on it. which, ironically, was exactly what he thought.   
« well then i’ll be damned if i give a fuck, shoot me right now i couldn’t care less! in fact- » he got up, opening his hands just like the Christ behind him, letting out a dry laugh.   
« i couldn’t give less fucks of your stupid words, of Their stupid words. may i be blessed right? fixed, stripped o-of this- this sin that ruins me everyday right? they fucking brainwashed you shua, now c’mon and look at me right in the ey- »   
« I FOUND THEM, COME HERE »   
from that moment, everything felt unreal, starting from the group of people that stormed inside the church, to the side of a knife caressing his neck, keeping him in place;  
he saw his lover looking up and praying; he knew they weren’t going to hurt him, or so he hoped, nothing would matter anymore if they took his life.  
« keep him in place. jeonghan, you idiotic brat, you really couldn’t keep that mouth shut am i right? you really had to-»  
« take me to church, i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, i’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knives- » jeonghan smiled devilishly while singing to him   
« offer me that deathless death, oh good god! let me give you my life! » he mocked, locking hands on a fake prayer, he made sure that shua’s eyes were closed, too busy praying to pay attention to his sinful lover, who knew he wasn’t going anywhere that night.   
he yanked one of the men away from himself, crawling then to the pastor’s feet, looking up at him with a fake pleading stare.   
« i’m sorry father, i truly am.....truly.... »   
there was a moment of silence,   
in which everything seemed to stop,   
in which his now fake tears rolled down the cheekbones, to the chin and then falling on his neck and collarbones;   
a moment in which he started to smile, a painfully hilarious smile, as if he wasn’t able to take anything seriously anymore, just like his eyes, there was no joy in his expression, just a heavy bundle of pain and anger, as if he finally lost hope that they would see him as the good guy, too blinded by their fake beliefs to think out of the golden cage they were trapped in.  
« i truly am sorry that you’ve ended up believing the words from an old boring book and worshipping a fake god, losing both sanity, pride and soul, but see... » he said, slowly getting up, he lessened the space between his and the pastor’s face, still smiling from cheek to cheek, he turned the palms of his hands to face the ceiling, raising his shoulders.  
« we’re all gonna die in the end, my love. but when i go- » he turned to face joshua, who was looking at the statue in front of him, cornered by a bunch of guards praying with him, jeonghan smiled, he knew the other was going to be alright, and that was all that mattered to him.   
« when i go, don’t cry for me dear- » he continued, caressing the pastor’s warm cheek with a finger.   
« because where i’m going, there’s no such thing as slaughter, and everything you preach as right, see- where i am going, none of that matters, we’re bound to live in eternity as one alone, so nothing you’ve preached here will matter. but before i go, i have a last question. » he asked, pushing a dagger on his waist.   
« do you really think i am going to listen to one of your nonsen-» he ignored him.  
« was it at least worthy? all those killed, all those poor souls you extirpated like weed just because they weren’t like you, all those families left without a father, a mother, a brother, all those lovers left alone....was it worthy staining your hands with blood forever? because my dear, i may be a sinful wench, i may be the worst you’ve ever seen, a crazy bastard, a crooked soul. but you see, none of that will matter one day, while your hands, those will stain blood forever, no matter how much you try to wash it off, they will stain and stink and it’ll slowly poison you from inside, so, good luck with that.»   
he chuckled, looking at the pastor getting paler and paler by the second, he glanced at joshua, who gulped feeling his gaze upon him.  
« and to you, my dear, my sun and light, be careful who you side with, there’s more sickness and crookedness here than you might ever think.»  
he then pushed it, it wasn’t an epic scene, blood started leaping from his side, and his body pathetically fell on the ground, getting heavier and weaker by the second, then everything got blurred and nauseous.

they say while you die, you get seven seconds in which all your life flashes by your eyes.  
jeonghan thought it was bullshit, and now, staring at the intimidating white statue by him, more than his life, he saw all of his regrets flashing by.  
was it really worthy?   
was there a way to turn back time?  
would he do it all the same then?  
funny, he thought, how crazy a man had to be to see all of his mistakes flashing by and still decide to pick them all, make them all... and yet, the first thing he thought about was joshua, his golden wavy locks, his plump lips, candid smile, his infinite love for the god he oh so worshipped, still, it had been just a short sparkle of time he spent with him, and even so, even thought it’d been the death of him, he was glad to have died for him, he realized how the most dangerous thing is none of the ones he was taught about in his youth, at the end, the only one we are all willing to live, kill, die, is love.  
he did it all three, and was now happily facing the consequences.


End file.
